Pre-Holiday Marathons & Uncommon Ideas
What’s been the focus of your week? When you think back on the last month, what have you done most? Have you been drilling into the academics? Is work busier than ever with year end reports or a push to deliver big year-end sales? Are your volunteer responsibilities about to explode? Oh – I can’t forget shopping! Does it feel like a marathon to the new year, yet? Be honest. What has been the focus of your time lately?
A mom recently confessed to me that she had parked her kids on autopilot and hadn’t been overseeing lessons all year because the demands of her volunteerism and her paying job were too great to handle homeschool, too. At first I was stunned by her authentic confession but quickly remembered when I’d done pretty much the same thing for a season. Who was I to judge?
Too often I was easily lured away from mundane day-to-day training of my kids by the needs and temptations of the world around me. I have been prone to over schedule and exhaust myself, volunteering to help with all the interesting projects at church or cooperative and staying up into the wee morning hours to get it all done. And then – overtired, cranky, short-tempered, regretful and maybe a just a little prideful I’d trudge through my actual responsibilities at home. I’d quickly put on a happy faux-face for anyone residing outside my four walls but the folks I lived with saw the real me. My husband got the worst treatment and the kids got only slightly better versions of mom. How could I be a Godly example of a wife and of a mother if I was always overtired, overbooked, overworked, over-committed and low-hanging fruit for spiritual attack? How could I teach them that school was important if I didn’t make it a priority in my own day?
As the mom in your home, its on me to set the tone. I make the schedule. I’m the boss of the homeschool. A boat needs a captain and my homeschool needs a leader. And leaders are disciplined! How are you leading? How are you approaching the end of a calendar year, the beginning of a holiday season and the middle of your homeschool year? How’s that self-discipline? What are your kids learning from you about how to live their lives when they are no longer beneath your wings?
God prescribed a plan for our priorities and time. He told us where our heart should be. Allotting our time accordingly creates a trickle down impact to our leadership. We become better leaders and fold around us learn to lead the right way.
And with this we have our first uncommon idea of this post: Make God first and your spouse second in your life, always. Make this idea a hard, fast rule. If God isn’t a priority in your day, the fruit is not going to be sweet and you’re more susceptible to be drawn into the worlds temptations. When I think back to my over committing, overworked days, my husband encouraged me to learn balance and was greatly relieved when I quit overbooking myself. He appreciated sharing a bedtime with me and the newfound time I had to care for our marriage. I didn’t quit everything but I got better at choosing only what God actually call me to do.
Spending this holiday season over committed, overtired and making your homeschool the last thing on your list will be something you regret. Even if you choose to drop the academics between the turkey in November and the ball dropping in January, making your family the last priority will be less rewarding in the long run. If you are concerned about your trajectory, consider spending some time authentically pleading with God to show you how to prioritize.
Serving is on the to do list for His people
Undoing a lifestyle of over committing was really complicated and painful for me. There were so many great causes that could use the skills and talents God had given me. The work was so gratifying and I was needed, just like I’m told in the Word.
When we chose to follow Christ, we are called to joyfully and generously share and sacrifice our own time, energy, creativity, provision and resources. This is the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. But, our lives factually don’t need to be so cluttered that we become grumpy, over-worked servants.
With the season of giving upon us, give generously! However, if you are over-committed this season, consider how you are serving year-round so that your holidays can also include plenty of time for caring for your spouse and training your children. If your once manageable volunteer gig has grown too large, maybe the new year is time to delegate or revamp. And, maybe God is trying to help you get to the end of yourself so that you can rely on Him to show you just where He needs your gifts.
Which brings me to the second uncommon idea: No amount of volunteerism will save our soul. We are only saved by Christ’s work on the cross but, our flesh is changed when we accept salvation and when we serve others out of that grace, we share God’s glory. Plus, I never found that baking cookies for the fundraiser, phone calls for the mom’s might out, newsletters for the ladies network, website updates for the co-op, table decorations for the auction or just one more text to the leadership chat thread at 2am while the family sleeps made up for shirking my homeschool leadership responsibilities and a postponed date night with my husband!
Pride comes before…
True confessions: when serving, I felt praised and thanked for my service. Sometimes, people would drop glowing words like “resourceful,” “determined,” “reliable.” and “capable.” There were so many compliments and sometimes coffee or flowers or a gift bag, and my heart swelled. After leaving a successful career for diaper changes and self-employment, I was a rockstar at the mom’s group! People showed gratitude for my contributions to co-op. I was recognized everywhere and fit into the popular leaders club. I was recognized at the playdates and parks by moms I admired. I was sought out for what I could contribute. The list of projects with my name in the credits grew and grew!
Wait!
MY PRIDE SWELLED AND GREW.
…Like a nasty cancer.
Satan had drawn me into self gratifying projects that built my self esteem, provided affirming feedback and allowed me to show off my skills in a way that maybe wasn’t always so humble. Volunteering was giving to others, not prideful, right? When I was giving so much of my time, selflessly, I couldn’t possibly be consuming the sin of pride? What’s a little humble-brag of staying up all night finishing the project some other gal dropped the ball on? It was practically mandatory that my kids played by themselves while I finished the document updates for our meeting and made the phone reminders to guests? Who is going to care if we missed three units in 4 subjects because the “teacher” was busy getting ready for the Silent Auction? Of course, my husband “understood” when I was too tired for a date night, again.
Satan had “presented the golden bait and hidden the hook” (T. Brooks, Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices, page 19). And, I bit! I was not making God, my husband and my home school the priorities, I was digging deep into self-love and basking in glow of worldly feedback and becoming a glutton on pride.
None of the verses I’ve found in scripture suggest that we should be looking for thanks or appreciation or gratitude or even a reinforced sense of self-worth in our service to the Lord. And this is another uncommon idea: humility characterizes our service to God. When praised do I say “Thank you,” or “to God be the glory?” Who enabled me to accomplish any task? And, have I cared for the top priorities before accepting the responsibility for anything else? For me, I needed to get my own house in order by first, getting my time commitment to the Lord right then to my husband and then to my kids. This usually meant I had a fraction of the time I used to have for projects outside my God given household mission field.
So what?
This time of year, I encourage you to chew on how you have sorted your priorities for a little while. School has started and the holiday season is about to crank up. Have you invested in your relationship with God? Are you waiting on Him to direct your steps? Are you over-committed? Is volunteering adding to or taking away from your homeschooling? What relationships in your life are helping you become a better wife to your husband and a better mom to your kids? Have you said no to any serving opportunities this school year?
Equally telling might be if you’ve not been asked to step in and volunteer for something. Is the fruit of the Spirit oozing from you in such a way that folks want your help, they see your good works and want you to be a part of their service to the Lord? Maybe you live in an isolated community but, if not, maybe its time to step out and build some God-glorifying fellowships with women who are on a similar journey.
May you be blessed this Christmas season and may all your plans for the new year be wrapped in prayer and blessed by God.
On a personal note, I’ve been away from blogging for a while because I had a unique summer. I was given a wonderful opportunity to serve on a mission trip. When I came home, I immediately suffered from a respiratory illness that landed me in the hospital ICU. During my time in the ICU, our merciful Father held me and promised to lead me along still waters and give me rest in green pastures. He promised to anoint my head with oil and prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. I believe his rod and staff crossed over me and protected me from the enemy during my time in the ICU. By God’s mercy, my life was spared and I am now, almost 4 months later, close to my previous health. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
I always appreciate comments and a share of you like my ramblings. If you would like to chat about homeschool or notify me of a typo over coffee, drop me an email and we can schedule a time out of our excess.
